But the Obvious!

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Time to throw it back

Posted by Irus on February 20, 2008

One of the side effects of taking on the world’s issues is that you eventually feel as though you are carrying a huge load on your shoulders, says Edward B Toupin


Life consists of lessons. Living is continual learning Therefore, if you take on someone else’s issues and responsibilities, or lessons would that not be classified as cheating? Are you not cheating yourself out of your own life? Are you not cheating others out of their own lessons? At one time or another, we all get involved with someone else’s issues. These issues can include family issues, life change minimal conundrums, or anything that can somehow challenge the foundations and beliefs of an individual. However, we must be able to identify when we are providing assistance and when we are accepting responsibility for someone else.
Of course, there are times when it is essential, for our well-being and for those we love, that we must set aside our own lives to ensure the comfort of a loved one. When our loved ones are incapable of caring for themselves, it is our desire and obligation as human beings to be there and care for them as we are not only helping our loved ones, but we are also growing within ourselves However, there is a limit that we, as humans, are expected to give up our lives and directions for another.
It is a natural human response to lend a hand to someone in need It is fulfilling to know that you are helping someone, especially if you’ve been through a similar situation and you know all of the answers. But, do you really know all of the answers? You may have experienced a similar situation; however your perspective and, therefore your lessons were different. By taking on the issue for yourself and solving the problems of others, you are actually robbing them of lessons that they need to learn for themselves and grow in their own way. Also, realise that people live their own karma. When they are experiencing various issues in their lives, they are more than happy to include others into the drama or give the issue to someone else to handle. This is because they are walking into an area of the un known outside of their safety zone.
By taking responsibility to re solve their issues for them, you are also accepting responsibility for the success or failure of the issue. Over time you will lose yourself in the expectations of others and eventually become the whipping post for everyone that knows that you will do the ‘dirty work’ for them. Finally you’re giving up a time of your own life to deal with someone else’s is sues when, in fact, you could be using that time to move forward in your own life. But, in many cases people take over other people’s is sues when they feel the need to be come emotionally stimulated and there isn’t enough going on in their own life to stimulate themselves.
Perhaps you need more involvement in things that make a difference in your own life. Such stimulation can occur through setting a plan and having a vision set for your life. Without one, we seek out other forms of stimulation to fill the voids in our own lives. I am not saying that you should ignore the needs of others on this planet.
Such a view would be arrogant harsh, and inhumane. You should always be aware of the needs of oth ers. However, being aware of and being responsible for the needs of others are two completely different things. It is important to respect the needs of others and allow them the opportunity to fulfill their needs However, you cannot take responsibility for anyone else’s needs. If they are capable of handling their own lives, then they should take the reins and do so.
You have to realise that, if some one else makes an error and throws it into your court, they are expecting you to handle it. Many times people will blame you for their own
issues because they don’t know how to handle them. But, your best approach is simply to throw it back. It is actually their own responsibility to resolve the issues and your responsibility is merely to watch your own area of influence and ensure that their issue does not affect you. With such situations don’t fall into playing games, which can last for weeks, months, and even years. By toying with games you are literally wasting your time with someone else’s issues while you could be focusing on things of importance to your own life.
Ignoring their claims will only create more turmoil on their side that they will have to eventually handle. Consider it a form of voodoo. If you don’t believe it in, it can’t harm you. If you see this per son as a friend, and you lose this person as a friend because of the situation, then so be it. There’ more to life than being drug into a hole because of someone else’s in ability to handle their own issues Allow them a chance to learn on their own. Not only will they be a better person for it, but you will be a better friend in the long run. If you allow other’s issues, whether they affect you or not, to engulf your life, then you are allowing your life to be controlled by other people and situations.
Eventually, your life will belong to everyone else and you can no longer move forward to your own vision because your life is cluttered with everyone else’s issues. You must learn to evaluate the issues and learn, more importantly, how to be human without providing your soul as a door mat. One of the side effects of taking on the world’s is sues is that many people can eventually feel as though they are over whelmed, beaten, or carrying a huge load on their shoulders. Their load comes from taking on too many unnecessary issues that actually belong to someone else just to fill in the voids in their own lives.
There is no shame in dropping trivial situations that are of no use and are at a dead-end. Don’t feel guilty about pushing other people’ issues out of your life. You’re not shirking responsibility. You’re simply claiming your own life. You have just as much right to live your life as everyone else. You will encounter is sues that you must overcome just as everyone else will throughout their lives. But, while you’re dealing with other people’s problems, what are they doing? They’re living their life because you were so kind to alleviate them of their pressures.
The point is that, if you’re not careful, these issues can block your paths moving forward. Ultimately you remain stuck in the past because you’re unable to find a solution. Your best solution is to cut it out of your life and continue moving towards your vision.


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